As I lay awake at 3:30 this morning, I was thinking of my life changes and what I need to fit into those changes. Professionally, I work in some hard fields and deal with some ugly stuff, and it's work that really feeds my soul. Since I love my work and have no intention of changing my focus any time soon, a soft place to land is important in my life. How my soft place to land looks, though, is part of what kept me awake. Surely it's in many ways the same for most of us: a nice place to call home, some flowers, good food, good wine. Maybe a cat. Probably a turtle (yeah, I know those aren't soft, but they are peaceful). Then there's the human factor: someone you can talk to, someone who can listen and understand, a smile, a touch, friends, love (different kinds), family. For some people who are easier to live with and love, that soft place also means love in the form of a relationship. Maybe the promise of forever. Or maybe three years. Whatever.. I'm old enough to understand that words have limited and ever changing meanings.
So back to the change thing... Finding peace is not a single action, but a process that spans differing times and actions. Being alone is a really important part of that, and I've got the alone thing down to a pretty fine art. You have to be able to be alone before you can really be happy I think. With that, there's gratitude. That's been a tougher lesson for me, but with the help of some friends I've come to learn the value of expressing and feeling gratitude and what it really means. Not that "oh my god, I have to come up with three things to post on Facebook for my gratitude posting today!" sort of gratitude, but the sort that you sit with and feel deeply. That's one of the things I've begun to change in my life - really seeing and feeling what I'm grateful for, including not just what I have had, but what is coming. Another tough lesson for me, and the one that takes me to the blog change, is actually practicing being more calm in my life.
So that's why this blog. I'm saving the politically charged and angry discourse for other forums. Here I'll seek the calm, the peace, the thoughtful. And maybe the occasional picture of my turtle. You might hate it (not the turtle, the blog. Or maybe the turtle) and if you do, that's okay, you can move along. Mostly, this is just about and for me, so I have no expectations for your support or admiration. If you stay, welcome, and enjoy. If you move on, peace to you.